Whom should you fear, children? Vampires or priests?

How appropriate that the report into the festering sore at the heart of the Irish Catholic church as a whole, and the Archdiocese of Dublin in particular, comes just before Christmas. Just think, children, of all those priests going on about Jesus meek and mild, always with that emphasis on purity and innocence. There's nothing to add, really, except that they've taken a moment out of their busy schedule of covering up abuse to condemn the new Twilight film.

'Dangerous and morally empty' was the phrase.

Give me the vampires every time.